privilege

it has been a privilege

to love you.

i sat in that truck bed and curved my spine against the metal.

when you know

you just know.

he tapped his hard knuckles against my heart and murmured

keep this soft.

she threw her brown arms around my neck and breathed

i'm going to love him even if he never loves back.

their bones creaked and their doors broke and they echoed

come rest here and be still.

and in the thunder, when the Face of the Almighty passed, i heard it whispered

oh.

oh, yes.

perfect love casts out fear

because in you

there will not be room for anything else.

and you.

i see you walking back up the road, where nobody else is going,

and i'm sorry.

because i burned some bridges, and tore up some crosswalks,

and flattened a highway

to say goodbye.

i had to.

i think maybe that's the wreck we're picking our way across,

trying to get back to the start.

but my dearest, this is not a goodbye. 

i'm going to let them in, and tell them to take off their shoes, and if they want to, i'll let them stay forever.

because i'm not too scared

to love again.

it's what He would do.

you'll be there too.

because you're mine.

and that's that.

and it has been a privilege

to love you.

amen.

x