March 3, 2017

two months

he's been buried for two months.

i didn't get to go to the funeral.
i didn't want to go to the funeral.
i didn't want to sit on that bench by the oak tree
and stare at the tombstone
until it was the only thing i saw when i fell asleep at night.

i make breakfast slowly, watching the apple peel
curl around my fingers
like i'm a tree in the garden
carved with the initial
of horror.
it's green, green, green. and the repetition of it all
eases the sting.

i stand at the edge of the road and watch Venus descend.
and i know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end He will stand on the earth.
i wish it was today.
i wish it was today.
the rocks press up into the soles of my feet
and i carve out a dusty space in my chest to put this
new sunset in.
i know just the spot.
by the window.
where you can sit on the green couch that has a broken spine
to watch the sky
give birth.


cally and i are cookin up a surprise. but we both had to forget first. so now we remembered. a+ us.
*sneaky face*


  1. Wow I'm speechless. I feel like I say this every time, but this is one of my favorite posts of yours ever.
    Your feelings just seeped right through the paper into me. <3 Gorgeous photos!

    lavender & blue
    the inkpot girl

    1. SCREAMMMMM. i feel like i say that every time. but it's totes true, because your words make me scream with love and awe and thanks. thank you. x

  2. <3 <3 woooww speechless ^ is just about the right term. for your words and your pictures.
    aahh can't wait for the surprise. I know anything you two come up with will be stunning. ;)

    1. *speechless because of your wonderfulness*
      mwahhaah x

  3. This utterly breaks my heart, but you write so beautifully. Wow.

    I'm definitely very excited for the surprise. You two are amazing.

    1. good gravy, you're the best. love love love.
      and yasss. i'm excited too. x

  4. hello i cannot speak after reading this art

  5. "i wish it was today.
    i wish it was today."

  6. It feels like I haven't commented in a long time. But I knew I had to for this one. Your poem is absolutely beautiful. <3 I'm always astounded by your talent.

    1. HEY WHAT UP JO. thank you. it took some serious growing pains to get me to this one. x

  7. I wish it was today too. But keep your eyes on the sky, girlie. It's still big and beautiful and blue and He is still good and good and good. Call me one of these days. :-)

  8. Ugh. So good. 💜💜


  9. I don't know what to say because I'm sitting here stunned and with tears in my eyes feeling all the feels about everything because
    this was me
    a year and a half, gosh almost two years now.
    and most days life is new and there are spaces in my heart for everything
    but sometimes
    things pile up and I want to sit by the window and do absolutely nothing.

    1. squeals forever.
      so this is me now
      getting ready to be the you that is two years older.
      ready to be made new.
      so much love.

  10. this poem hits way too close to home. like wow, so many feels packed into this and such beautiful words <3


be kind.