two months

he's been buried for two months.

i didn't get to go to the funeral.

i didn't want to go to the funeral.

i didn't want to sit on that bench by the oak tree

and stare at the tombstone

until it was the only thing i saw when i fell asleep at night.

i make breakfast slowly, watching the apple peel

curl around my fingers

like i'm a tree in the garden

carved with the initial

shock

of horror.

it's green, green, green. and the repetition of it all

eases the sting.

i stand at the edge of the road and watch Venus descend.
and i know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end He will stand on the earth.
i wish it was today.
i wish it was today.
the rocks press up into the soles of my feet
and i carve out a dusty space in my chest to put this
new sunset in.
i know just the spot.
by the window.
where you can sit on the green couch that has a broken spine
to watch the sky
give birth.

xx


cally and i are cookin up a surprise. but we both had to forget first. so now we remembered. a+ us.
*sneaky face*