poor enough

i lie on my back and smile up at the stars
and it's too late to be doing this.

i wrap my fingers around the blanket and count every falling one and my riches outnumber them all.

and that thought startles me
because i have never been rich.
and there are many days that the money
just isn't there.

but i am looking up, and i'm rich.

suddenly i am living in the Word
and the verse applies to me
when it says that it is so hard
to enter the kingdom.

i feel the hot, tender pulse of surrendering in me
like it always appears.

and maybe surrender is the gift of losing things.

because maybe He's making me
poor enough
to enter the kingdom.

finally i can say this to you.
i can tell you that i let go of you for the sake of being obedient and becoming poor.
but the poorest person i know is a child.
because he owns nothing.
absolutely nothing.
and yet he never wants
because he is clothed and fed
by someone who loves him.

i am free now.
and i love you unashamedly
somehow
through my blushing cheeks.

but the blessing
of being poor in spirit
means you can go home.

and someday we'll dance into heaven
in our beggar's clothes
rich beyond belief.

xx

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