not to change

i realized it, i guess.

that time, and being distant from everyone you had,

does change you.

i know you don't want it to.

but it does.

and you get a little quieter.

(even though you laugh harder when they watch.)

and you get a little softer.

(even though your thoughts are still sword and shield.)

and you get a little older.

(even though your eyes are younger than ever.)

and if you came to my house today,

i think you would notice.

because i did change.

it's been too quiet around here

not to change.

but if you came to my house today

(sometimes i look around the corner as if i still hope you will.)

i would put down my silence

and i would run into your arms

and i would tell you:

"this ache is the same

as it was yesterday.

and i will carry it

forever."

xx


fifteen days. it has been the longest fifteen days of my life.
i missed you all.