hope

i stand in the sun, feeling the rocks in my shoes, and i hear the sound of a car pulling up.

i whirl around.

because if you came back, if by some strange turn of events you came back...
what will i say? how will i change what i already said?
i already said so much.
and i said nothing at all.
in four basic chords, i played every song in my heart
and sat before the Maker on a bucket.

everything feels different.

i stand in the sun, feeling the rocks in my shoes, and i hear the sound of a car pulling up.

hope is a chasm edge, full and final, but dark as pitch.
it is not the fact that i cannot see.
not the fact that i cannot know.
but i will jump.
i will be pushed.
because it is all in for the likes of us.
and hope goes so deep.

it's not you.

i grin up at the Colorado sky.
for the Maker is good
and though i am forgetful, though i never see those faces again,
i will praise Him still.
because hope is a chasm edge.

and i am falling.

xx.

lolz to the person who read this post before it was the post it is now. 
love you.