death

the earth explodes and she sheds her death like a second skin.
where is the garden, that i may plant my body within?
where is the cross, so that i may die on it?

and i am in pain when You beckon me forward saying:
here.
you too will die with Me today.
because it's all i really wanted.

the mercy pardoned my sin
but the grace invites me to die as well.
could it be?
i have wished so long to take part in the death. to be buried like a seed into great darkness.

i stand at the foot of the cross, looking up at the cruel wood.
i am afraid again
and aware of the sound of robins restlessly digging in the garden outside the gate.

i close my eyes and bend. i cannot die. i am too little, too afraid to even do this simple thing You ASKED OF ME.
and then the sternest of kisses upon my forehead. the strongest of hands upon my face. i look up into Thy side, aware of only the blood and water running down into the soil like seed into womb.

and then i am dead.

grace is invitation to die.
grace is the thief who has no tomb but Paradise.

because i could not even kill the dark within, but You have laid her down to slaughter.
she will die.
and then the reality of grace sets in.
the earth explodes, and she sheds her death like a second skin.
HALLELUJAH.
Christ is Lord.

xx

to the girl who knows that i talk about economics sometimes.