March 9, 2016

dear you


dear you,

   i write in the fields with my letters in the snow, footprints apart as when i was a girl. and the fields are empty of depth for the things i press there. maybe if you were on the moon you could read my stories. or, if you liked, you could stand very near and listen to the closing valves on my heart. is that all a heartbeat is? yes. afraid so. but listen. i've got to tell you something.
     
    you sit in your room, not with the windows shut mind you, and pretend there are things growing. and miles and miles away, i pray for love. not the silly kind, of course. (who would want that?) but the Love that beats like a valve on the heart. it opens and it closes. one motion////after the other. catch and release, as my mama would say. (she likes to fish.) you catch. and you release. let go, my darling. we have been here long enough.

   i will throw you back into the sea from whence you came, amazed at the splash you make. (oh, the flashing colors of your eyes!) and then some pretty day, when the sky is just as we like it, i will look down and find you close at hand. how did you get here? you laugh. i have always been here. catch and release, i suppose. (i am no fisher.) we sit on the shore, and we bury our cold toes in the water. we are waiting for the Great Fisher, you and I. He knows all about love. and then suddenly, He is before us. (why did i doubt?) He pulls us into the water, and we drown with happiness. the rebirth will be the best part.

     and on some dark day, when the water is iced over, i will come to you and you will touch the earth beside you. sit here. i'll sit. (strange the things you remember.) and you will tell me all about catch and release. about how to set the line just right. about how the heart works, with arteries and veins all in perfect unison. you will believe it. (so will i.) and i look up into the eyes of the Great Fisher, full of love and desire. desire for the heart that will be mine. we will dig a hole in the ice. and you will put me there to die. 

let go, my darling.

       one bright morning, full of birds that sing because their breasts are far too small to hold it in, you will be writing in the fields. (you look so silly standing there alone!) and i will come to you, skipping up the lane made of red dust. how did you get here? i will laugh. (you know i love to.) i walked. you might smile. who won't on that day? i know that, stupid. 

but there. i have already filled my field with the story.
and i have not even conveyed you as you are.

xoxo,
me

oops there i go. writing novels in places they have no right to be. ♥



14 comments:

  1. dear you. this is mind-blowing. what even. </3

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  2. the Great Fisher. oh, how i love that name.

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  3. oops there you go. crushing my heart in the most beautiful and life-giving way. pls never stop this writing novels in places they have no right to be. literally missed your words xx

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  4. This is so wistful and lovely:) I like it.

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  5. Wow. I know everyone always says so, but this... This is beautiful.

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  6. this is so deep and endless and all i have is a little pathetic candle and i can't even see all the glory but still i am in awe.

    wow. ♥
    you.

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  7. Absolutely.
    Positively.
    Beautiful.
    You have such a wonderful mind, Adelaide. Never stop writing and creating and being you. <3

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  8. This is written so well, Adelaide! Beautiful, and sweetly vivid as always. <3 Can't wait to see another post like it.

    Sophia xx | lantern-in-her-hand.blogspot.com

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  9. I always get so excited when I see your posts on my dashboard. Sometimes they're never quite long enough for me to soak in their beauty. This one is, though. And no matter the length they somehow always lift my spirits. The way you word things...gaah.

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  10. Oh. And I forgot to mention. These photos. The sunset light...just gorgeous.

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  11. my fragile heart.
    you and cally just keep tearing it to pieces.

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  12. SO BEAUTIFUL! Your posts continually fill me with joy and happiness and beauty in my days. <3
    -Vivian
    http://moonsworlds.blogspot.com

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  13. letters these days always making my heart go at a very sporadic unhealthy pace...

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be kind.

xx