July 4, 2015

safe place




There is no safe place to put the words.


I desperately look out the window. So many words are choked up in my heart, all of them distinctly tasting like grief. There is the broken friend, the empty boy, the gripping of death. The man has seen war. The girl is alone.

I feel dead.

But there is no place for the words. No place to bury them deep enough that they never see the sun.

So they sit in my heart and rot, all of them distinctly tasting like decay. I'd bury, I'd destroy. But I can't quite get my hands to work. Can't quite get my heart to start moving. We pull into the driveway of the house I love, and the third of July is painful, hot and strong. We run into the heat, every word an effort.

There is no safe place for me. 

And then the rain comes. The drops are drenching, huge and cold. The running slows down, and then we're just laughing blindly as we stumble around in the wetness. I think I'm laughing. Maybe I'm crying. The rain pours down like tears.

What is this madness?

A promise. 


A safe place.


The Lord cries all over me, and I cry because He is crying. My spirit aches and groans and I realize that what it says are not words.

It is raining inside me, washing out the decay.

There is no safe place for the words. 


And that's okay. Because the words are dead anyways, so wash them out of me. What it leaves behind will be the room for something else to grow. I was dead. Now I live. The rain finally drives us in, and we pull towels over our heads and laugh silly. It smells like hot dogs and family and mango salsa.


And it tastes distinctly like freedom.

xoxo




23 comments:

  1. ohhhh oooooo aaahhhhh ooww no words just sounds because no words will for to describe this feeling, i will just soak in this and learn to understand the masterpiece you wrote

    you always leave me astounded (good job XD)

    xxArielle <4 more than love for this

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    Replies
    1. thank you so much, sweet Arielle! you are literally the best, and every one of your words keeps me going strong. *hugs you forever* ♥♥

      xx

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  2. <3 You are amazing beyond amazing.

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    1. JORDY. ♥ you are amazing beyond amazing.

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  3. Ungh. <3 Straight to the heart.

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  4. perfect, just perfect. i drank in every single word.
    you're amazing. thank you, just--thank you for this ♥

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    Replies
    1. I'M CRYING thank you elisabeth. you are a wonder. ♥

      xx

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  5. A really thorough and deep read. I was really "into it" and I love it. Lovely! Great work... <3

    apieceofmysky.blogspot.sg

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    1. thank you, natasha! i am so glad you liked it. ♥ writing it was freeing.

      xx

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  6. This is so amazing... as always :)

    MaryShelley
    thereidwhowrites.blogspot.com

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  7. Ughhghh. This is absolutely gorgeous. Basically I can't think of any words to react with right now because you have reduced me to animalistic groans and the like. GAAAH. Keep writing. <3

    love,
    abbie

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    Replies
    1. i am weeping what even. THANK YOU lovely abbie. this meant the world. ♥

      xx

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  8. What is this? this whole thing, it is a promise. thank you.

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    1. I was scrolling down to comment (sorry if this is considered spamming whatever) and i realized i already had. And i don't even remember. Because these words are hitting me an entirely different way this second time. It's timeless. It comes from all angles and makes me feel and reminds me of different things and means something totally different to me a month later. I was literally in tears at the end. And that doesn't happen a lot. Thank you, Adelaide. Not for the tears i mean, but for this. For your dedication and your sweet spirit and for these words. Especially your words.

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  9. NO WORDS ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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    Replies
    1. UGH THANK YOU, YOU WONDERFUL GIRL. ♥♥♥

      xx

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  10. *gasps*

    What.

    You nailed it, muchacho.

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be kind.

xx