April 16, 2015



Sometimes I really don't know what I'm doing.

Life is hard. Life is the hardest thing I know. It's full of things we can't escape, and blurred memories, and mistakes.

And sometimes?

Sometimes it feels like life is going to kill me.

I've had a hard month. Too many things to do, too little heart. It's just been day after day after day of endless things that all feel the same. And I've been feeling empty.

So I run to the Word, looking for answers. Looking for a way through.


(Ecclesiastes 5:7)
Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.
Therefore, stand in awe of God.


My weariness overcomes me, and I bow my head because it's too heavy to bear. I am one thousand words and one thousand dreams.

So empty right now. 

So tired.

My words and dreams cannot save me.

Life is hard. I want to keep what I have made...these things I've carved from the earth. They're mine in the first place! They are the fruit of my own heart. But the Word isn't comfort this time.

It's a knife and a fire.

Oh, little Israel. 

You have run after many gods.

I have run after many gods.

And they have left me so empty. 

So tired.

The knife feels good tonight, because I am feeling it and it's more than just emptiness. 

You, oh Lord, are not a god created by human hands. You are not something out of me. You are life, living water and, oh, my God, I am so thirsty.


(Jeremiah 6:16)
Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is and walk in it,
and you will find 
rest for your souls.

Amen. 

I shall stand in awe of God and ask for the good ways because only You, Lord, can satisfy my thirst.

And oh, my God, I am so thirsty.


xoxo



18 comments:

  1. Love this....it was exactly what I needed tonight. I've been feeling the same way - so empty - and I know it's my fault, it's me that has strayed away from Him. Yet sometimes it seems like the hardest thing to go back because I know the pain that I will feel, and yet when I finally do, it is the best feeling in the entire world and nothing will ever compare to it.

    xx Lorraine // Laurel Crowned

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    1. Amen! It's so true that returning hurts like crazy. It always reminds me of Eustace getting the dragon's skin peeled off by Aslan...it hurt, but it was so very worth it.

      ♥♥

      xoxo

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  2. Wow, Jeremiah 6:16 was impressed on me a few weeks ago, when I was stressing about my life and things not going the way that I had all planned in my head. Then I found that verse and it was just like a "huh, thanks God" thing.

    And now here it is again...and guess what? I have been in that same old rut again, trying to learn patience and trust and have the courage to do both. I have been frustrated with my life and how I don't know what even the next year looks like. I have been frustrated with my book and it not going as quickly or as un-vulnerable-y as I want it to.

    But stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the ancient paths. Ask where the good way is and walk in it. And you will find what? Not a five year plan. Rest.

    The awe of God, going back to the verse in Ecclesiastes.

    And here we are in the middle of that and I kid you not it is so much more frustrating than I want it to be. But I shall hand the reins over to my God and my King, over and over, every single day if I have to.

    Because His is the ancient path, the good way.

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    Replies
    1. AAAAAMEEEENNN. *sings it really loudly*

      All the yeses, forever. I'm glad you're with me, Sam. ♥

      xoxo

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  3. Girlie, hang in there. Life can stink big time, but we just got to hold on and with his support we can get through.

    xoxo Morning

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    Replies
    1. *hugs you forever* Ugh, thank you. I needed that. ♥

      xoxo

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  4. I had no idea of your situation. Hold on because things will get better. They did for me, they did for many people. Things always get better. <3

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  5. Yes, life can be incredible difficult sometimes, but we have to remember that, to us, this life will be the closest thing to Hell we'll ever experience. I love the verses you used!
    *virtual hug* It will get better, dear.

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    1. So true!

      And thank you, so much. *virtual hug* ♥

      xoxo

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  6. it's amazing how the Bible can be a comfort, and yet also remind us of the painful reality of the state we are in. This post basically summed up me all week, but the thing is, concentrating on circumstances doesn't help and reading posts like this fills me with happiness... so therefore you are awesome <3

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    Replies
    1. PRECIOUSNESS. Thank you so much.

      This made my month. ♥

      xoxo

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  7. Psalms 18:28. One of my favorites when I'm feeling drained or discontent or unsatisfied or scattered.

    Molly Marie
    mollyslittlecorner.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Ohhhh, Molly. I needed that verse. Thank you, thank you, thank you. ♥

      xoxo

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  8. oh my gosh. i'm here. i'm right here.
    march was, march was sickening. and wonderful at the same time but the dark cloud was just there so much.
    i need more of this. this filled me up and i feel partially whole right now. why is it so easy to forget that i just nee the Lord? 'Fill me up, Lord, with You, only You.' that shall be my constant prayer from now on.

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    1. I am so glad. Amen, dear friend. Amen.

      xoxo

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  9. Yes, I have felt this way too many times. We'll get through this together. :)

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be kind.

xx