a fire

if you gave me a fire, i would turn it on myself.

                                                                         and i would slowly, patiently, burn out every rotting                                      memory i've kept for too long.

if you gave me a flood, i would drown myself in it.

                                                     and i would calmly, inevitably, let the water flush out every broken piece of my heart that refuses to mend.

if you gave me a whisper, i would let it kill me.

                                                    and i would softly, gently, fall beneath the covering darkness of the words

that would be more than i could bear.

but You have given me none of these things.

and it is the nothingness in which i must find my peace.

for You were not my idol of words

but my God of silence.

these are the things which must fill me up.

silence will be my

homecoming.

♥

xx