May 30, 2018


life is twenty seven pictures in a disposable camera.

and on my roll of film, cracked and faded
i find faces.
just because some of them are blurred out, 
smiles hidden behind their movement, their moving,
their moving on,
it doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten them.

i remember that i'm immortal and i laugh.
it makes sense that i am a hungry time wanderer, 
scratching at the fringes of this first life in hopes of breaking through to the next.
trying to remember with a mind that was made
to hold the infinite.

she said she didn’t understand me.
she said they’d left their masks on when they came in
and i never asked them to remove their shoes.
but i said that i didn’t mind, as long as they came in.

it takes time
she said.

but i don't have time.

i’ve seen people walk out just as quickly as they walked in. 
i’ve heard squealing tires, and touched casket hinges, 
and seen masks lying beside the broken glass on the floor.

we may be immortal
but that doesn’t mean that i won’t be separated from some of them 
for the rest of my endless days.

right now.
this is all i've got to give to you. 
these pennies, seconds, we throw into the wishing well of an empty hospital.
and oh, if you only knew how much i want
you to take them.

He gave me twenty seven pictures in a disposable camera.

it doesn’t have to be perfect.

i’ll take the picture.
because even in your haunting, moving blurriness, i still want to see you.
i want to remember how i loved you.
and maybe someday we’ll look at it hanging on the wall, arms linked and fingers intertwined, hungry immortals finally satisfied.

or maybe we’ll be spending our eternities apart.


i've been a little empty, so i obviously took a break.
i think it's healthy to take breaks when u need them! gotta be gentle with urself, especially if ur a little cracked in places.

love love love.

1 comment:

  1. This was unbelievably gorgeous!!! Your writing is always so inspiring and raw and honest, I'm like "I wanna be like Addy when I grow up!!!" xD lol
    I totally understand why you've been taking a break. I completely agree that you need to be gentle with yourself, but I have missed your posts and your beautiful imagination!! <3 <3



be kind.