July 10, 2017

to thomas





You helped me down the hill.
That’s the last, true memory I have. 

You reached up for me, all hardness and height and strength. 
And I took your hand, all warmth and softness and laughter. 
You helped me down. We never said a word. 

But that last moment, 
the one right before I let go 
and Time ripped us apart like two small leaves 
on a fierce, wide river; 
it lasted for years.

I gripped tighter. 

Did you feel it? 
Right before I let go? 
It’s because I knew. 
The Lord in His grace gave me a second sight, 
the one that makes everything go slow right before somebody leaves forever. 

I gripped onto your big, strong hand 
that swallowed my little one, 
soaking up the warmth and the way you loved me until we 
both let go.

And the feeling of your fingers slipping through mine 
was the best metaphor for saying goodbye that I have ever known. 

Whenever I write down that word, goodbye, it’s that moment. 
It’s our moment. 
It’s our last moment, physically slipping through our fingers.

x




i have just honestly not had any time to take pictures or think.
because i've been busy with beautiful things.
it's good to be busy with beautiful things.
(but i miss u all an awful lot.)
x




16 comments:

  1. ADELAIDE THOMPSON. (have you noticed i'm a name person? because it just occurred to me within the last couple of weeks. i tend to say peoples' names a lot. but anyway back on topic) IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO DAYS AND I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO SAY.
    except that i love that boy, more than i thought i ever would. and i love crazy cade who wanted so desperately something like freedom. and i love little andy who needed love, but couldn't believe. and sleepy aiden who i never saw again. they all needed Christ. still do. so here i am, a small girl and a praying heart.
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (it's true because i feel like that's really important. like...names tie people down. it creates this essence of consistency that i think is really special to you. it's cement. names are solid.)
      amen. no matter how far time goes on, i think those will always be the boys that broke our hearts with love the most. x

      Delete
  2. this is beautiful. i'm so glad i found this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  3. your words are captivating. please never stop. <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. This was so sweet. And really beautiful...and for some reason it made me feel blessed and I have no idea why...? Maybe it's just because your words are so full of life and meaning and feeling that I feel a little the way you do. Does that make sense? Anyhoo, this was very thought-provoking. (Or maybe it was just God, because He's awesome that way.)

    Amelia xxx
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. So beautiful!!

    I followed your blog, and I would sincerely appreciate it if you checked out my book reviews blog at https://elsbookreviews.blogspot.ca/ and possibly give it a follow as well! Excited to read more of your posts!

    - El

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you! i'll make sure to take a look, friend. xx

      Delete
  6. that moment? this moment?
    yes. y e s .
    we have forgotten but yet we remember.
    and there are no words for this. it transcends, it hopes, it heals.

    Randy Abby
    WAKE ME UP Blog

    ReplyDelete

be kind.

xx